17 Reasons Why!
Sugar. He brings me sugar.
I just saw the check that Big Daddy wrote for our Chinese food and he only added in like $1.87 in tip. I had a meltdown. Because a) I'm a bitch and b) I'm pms'ing, so it just seemed the thing to do. But seriously, $1.87?!? I'm so embarrassed.
Work has been really slow, which is surprising this time of year. And although I'm really, really enjoying this slowness, it is kind of turning me into a worthless, lazy sloth. There has been a lot of napping, bathing and masturbating going on 'round these parts lately.
I want to give big ups to mama nature for the 90 degree day that's in my forecast for tomorrow.
And look, if you find yourself in the position of being deaf, please, I implore you, don't learn to talk. Just learn to sign. Sign language and maybe occasional lip reading is all you need. Don't get all ambitious and learn to talk and freak everyone out with your creepy, breathy, constant inhaling, not able to pronounce A's speech. It is unnatural and scary. Helen Keller was just an urban legend.
Remember when we had a deaf Miss USA? I was so pissed!
I think I'll plant an herb garden.
I just saw the check that Big Daddy wrote for our Chinese food and he only added in like $1.87 in tip. I had a meltdown. Because a) I'm a bitch and b) I'm pms'ing, so it just seemed the thing to do. But seriously, $1.87?!? I'm so embarrassed.
Work has been really slow, which is surprising this time of year. And although I'm really, really enjoying this slowness, it is kind of turning me into a worthless, lazy sloth. There has been a lot of napping, bathing and masturbating going on 'round these parts lately.
I want to give big ups to mama nature for the 90 degree day that's in my forecast for tomorrow.
And look, if you find yourself in the position of being deaf, please, I implore you, don't learn to talk. Just learn to sign. Sign language and maybe occasional lip reading is all you need. Don't get all ambitious and learn to talk and freak everyone out with your creepy, breathy, constant inhaling, not able to pronounce A's speech. It is unnatural and scary. Helen Keller was just an urban legend.
Remember when we had a deaf Miss USA? I was so pissed!
I think I'll plant an herb garden.
@ 6:20 PM
5 Comments:
Napping, bathing, and masturbating? That's quite the counselor ...
"And look, if you find yourself in the position of being deaf, please, I implore you, don't learn to talk."
OMG! That was so politically incorrect I couldn't stop laughing.
.....and with this post I think we can safely say that hotlipz is back!
Thank you, Jebus!
p.s. Cirque du Soliel is performing Delirium in Atlanta in June.
Be there or be square.
Funny, B. Funny.
Yer my boo.
You make ms so laugh! I love the deaf comment. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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