An Odyssey Of Stereotypes
I just got lucky enough to hear good music everywhere I went today, all day long. I even had the good fortune to shake my bon bon to a little Samantha Fox I Want To Have Some Fun.
Now, you guys know that I don't like to brag, but I've got to toot my own horn for a minute. I'm a pretty open minded gal, accepting and loving of all God's creatures no matter their size, shape or color. I try very hard not to make sweeping over generalizations about a certain group of people based on their race, color or creed. Even though my beloved family dog was viciously run over by a car full of Ukrainian midgets, I in no way hold that against the Ukrains or our smaller statured friends.
But I'm afraid nobody is perfect. Not even Hot Lipz (ya'll might want to do a screen cap of that last sentence because I can't imagine I'll leave it up for long). And even though I am open to those around me, I have to admit that I do hold a couple of broad stereotypes and will go to my grave vowing that truer words were never spoken. The first is that all Russian women are whores and the second is that all doctors are arrogant bastards.
And then today as I'm driving down the street being cut off by some cunt in a Honda Odyssey minivan with a George W. Bush bumper sticker, I quickly added a third to that list. Everyone who drives a Honda Odyssey minivan is a fucker.
Ya'll can quote me on that.
I'm serious as a heart attack. I quickly started thinking of everyone I knew that drove a stupid Odyssey and I soon realized that I had a deep seated hatred for all of them. And they all had something in common. They all take themselves way too seriously, which is mighty awful when you are already a great big douchebag.
Quick. Do it. It is like Six Degrees To Kevin Bacon, once you start, you won't be able to stop. Think of everyone you know who drives a gay Odyssey. They are fuckers, aren't they?
I knew it.
And for those of you who still don't believe me, I found photographic proof of this theory.
See, all fuckers.
Now, you guys know that I don't like to brag, but I've got to toot my own horn for a minute. I'm a pretty open minded gal, accepting and loving of all God's creatures no matter their size, shape or color. I try very hard not to make sweeping over generalizations about a certain group of people based on their race, color or creed. Even though my beloved family dog was viciously run over by a car full of Ukrainian midgets, I in no way hold that against the Ukrains or our smaller statured friends.
But I'm afraid nobody is perfect. Not even Hot Lipz (ya'll might want to do a screen cap of that last sentence because I can't imagine I'll leave it up for long). And even though I am open to those around me, I have to admit that I do hold a couple of broad stereotypes and will go to my grave vowing that truer words were never spoken. The first is that all Russian women are whores and the second is that all doctors are arrogant bastards.
And then today as I'm driving down the street being cut off by some cunt in a Honda Odyssey minivan with a George W. Bush bumper sticker, I quickly added a third to that list. Everyone who drives a Honda Odyssey minivan is a fucker.
Ya'll can quote me on that.
I'm serious as a heart attack. I quickly started thinking of everyone I knew that drove a stupid Odyssey and I soon realized that I had a deep seated hatred for all of them. And they all had something in common. They all take themselves way too seriously, which is mighty awful when you are already a great big douchebag.
Quick. Do it. It is like Six Degrees To Kevin Bacon, once you start, you won't be able to stop. Think of everyone you know who drives a gay Odyssey. They are fuckers, aren't they?
I knew it.
And for those of you who still don't believe me, I found photographic proof of this theory.
See, all fuckers.
@ 8:54 PM
5 Comments:
I would drive an Odyssey except I'm not allowed to own a car.
Just kidding. But it's true ... I don't own a car.
Who are those people? Was either of those guys Big Daddy in the second photo?
Just don't go chuckin' a McDonalds cup of ice at someone or you might end up in the pokey for two years. Actually, that woman was freed today. After a month in jail.
You are too funny! How did you find me and my fur coat and my minivan? HA!
Oh, yes, I agree with you about Bryan's shirt ... block letters with Dannielynn's name would've been preferable.
I tried to take a picture, but yesterday driving down I-4 in Orlando I passed an Odyssey with North Carolina plates that said "ODD ESSE". I just about drove off the road. And oddly enough the van was full of old people.
HA! thankfully dh drives the van and not me!
LOL
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