Sunday, July 08, 2007

Mommy Dearest

This mom thing isn't so hard when you can drop the kiddies off at the activities room and then go to the hotel bar and get tanked.

So far I am still only a mother of two. There were some snafus with GiGi's travel arrangements and she still hasn't made it down yet. She is supposed to be arriving tonight after a 9 hour Greyhound ride.

No wonder the French hate us.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Stuff for July

There is something about a woman named Joan that I just don't trust. I don't know why, historically Joans have been perfectly respectable ladies, Joan of Arc, Joan Collins, Joan Rivers. But the name is just so wrong. Maybe it is the parents of a woman named Joan that I shouldn't trust.

I just spent $165 on a bathing suit. And for those of you paying attention, even though I seem like an extravagant money spender, I am actually a cheapskate when it comes to such things. I'm more quantity than quality. I mean, I wouldn't mind spending $165 if I got like 5 bathing suits. But I'm headed to the beach, and I felt it necessary.

Gigi is 19 and from what I can tell from the dozens of pictures that she sent me, hot. Now that I'm days away from carting her down to a beach full of horny perverts, I'm cussing my insistence on picking the hot 19 year old that likes dancing and boys and not the mousy 15 year old that likes ponies and flowers. I have suddenly entered fretting overprotective mother mode and she hasn't even gotten here yet. But I don't want a Natalie Holloway on my hands.

I ran into the drug store the other day and when I came out I caught Big Daddy scrolling through my cell phone. It was interesting trying to explain to him why I had so many text messages to a "Hot Lipz". But since honesty is the best policy, I simply explained to him that they were wrong numbers.

I'm interviewing a new girl today. Wish me luck.