Choose Your Own Blog Title
Last night I had a dream that I was dating Kevin Federline. He was fun and I liked him a lot. Which I think is some weird dream analogy for the fact that I'm fun and I like myself a lot since I always say I am K-Fed, which my long time readers will remember is my term for the perfect combination of white trash and ghetto. So yeah. And then after that I had a dream that Bindi Irwin set a hotel on fire.
I'm the biggest, filthiest birthday whore in the world. Oh yes I am. I didn't mean to be, it just happened. I celebrated for 4 straight days. Nine different people sent me flowers. That means at least nine people on Earth like me. I got a good 50 birthday cards. Please keep in mind I usually get about six. I got gifts, and I got gifts and I got gifts which included but is not limited to, 3 different gift cards to 3 different spas, a 50 inch plasma TV (I'll give you one guess who that romantic gift was from) jewelry, a designer handbag and cash. I got 600 smackers! 300 of which were in the form of 1 dollar bills. Apparently the theme of the night was Hot Lips likes strippers. By the time I got done receiving and opening gifts, I was completely overwhelmed and embarrassed. Seriously. Like what do you say to your neighbor when you open a card from her with 200 bucks in it? It is sort of uncomfortable. Even Dee was generous this year (she sent flowers and gave me one of the spa gift cards.) So yeah, the moral of the story is, I'm a birthday whore who is going to be very, very disappointed when things return to normal next year. Poor, poor me.
I've been very busy going to the gym and the tanning bed (yes, the tanning bed, sue me) so I will look my very hottest for (insert plans to take over the world).
Who wants to update my blog for me? It shouldn't be that hard, just act like me and update. I'll pay you.
I'm the biggest, filthiest birthday whore in the world. Oh yes I am. I didn't mean to be, it just happened. I celebrated for 4 straight days. Nine different people sent me flowers. That means at least nine people on Earth like me. I got a good 50 birthday cards. Please keep in mind I usually get about six. I got gifts, and I got gifts and I got gifts which included but is not limited to, 3 different gift cards to 3 different spas, a 50 inch plasma TV (I'll give you one guess who that romantic gift was from) jewelry, a designer handbag and cash. I got 600 smackers! 300 of which were in the form of 1 dollar bills. Apparently the theme of the night was Hot Lips likes strippers. By the time I got done receiving and opening gifts, I was completely overwhelmed and embarrassed. Seriously. Like what do you say to your neighbor when you open a card from her with 200 bucks in it? It is sort of uncomfortable. Even Dee was generous this year (she sent flowers and gave me one of the spa gift cards.) So yeah, the moral of the story is, I'm a birthday whore who is going to be very, very disappointed when things return to normal next year. Poor, poor me.
I've been very busy going to the gym and the tanning bed (yes, the tanning bed, sue me) so I will look my very hottest for (insert plans to take over the world).
Who wants to update my blog for me? It shouldn't be that hard, just act like me and update. I'll pay you.
@ 3:32 PM
3 Comments:
I'll give it a shot. How much you gonna pay me to update your blog. It's gotta be easier than updating my own blog.
Just give me the title and I'll do the rest - my birthday present to you!
Oh why did you even bother to ask who wants to update for you?
You KNOW I'm gonna do it.
Or Stacy...if she's not busy.
you can send me the plasma t.v. since you aren't excited about it.
I would be.
I can try to update your blog ... ghost write it, as it were, except I'm not sure how I'd be able to describe nipple rug burn and why it occurred ...
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