9 Days
Some of you may or may not have noticed that I have a tiny bit of an obsessive personality. And because I'm a giver, I've decided to let you in on a couple of my newest obsessions.
The first being whitening my teeth. Now, I've been a consistent teeth whitener over the years, but I recently purchased this big ass kit that came with toothpaste, mouthwash and white strips. And real quick, if anyone cares, after years of teeth whitening I've found that my favorite method is the generic Target brand whitening strips. Sue me, I love 'em.
But trust me, this toothpaste isn't what you think. It isn't your normal whitening toothpaste. It is like 97% bleach. Same with the mouthwash, I'm pretty sure it is just pure bleach that I'm gurgling around in my mouth. By the time I have completed steps 1 and 2, the inside of my mouth is all puckered and dehydrated and pitiful from the inordinate amounts of bleach. Finally I white strip for 30 minutes while applying my make up. At the end of white stripping, I threw in one more step, which is a quick additional brushing with the 97% bleach toothpaste.
I know that this is probably taking the whole teeth whitening thing a couple of steps too far and that by now, I have no enamel left on my teeth, but I can't stop. I'm obsessed.
My next recent compulsion is Wendy's Southwest Taco Salad. I swear I try to have one every day. Here's the beauty of it: They give you a regular garden salad, a thing of chili, a little baggy of seasoned tortilla strips (read: broken up Doritos) and a tube of sour cream and then you construct the salad yourself. Oh God, I'm getting all worked up just thinking about it. So basically you get a full fast food meal, but you get to keep yourself guilt free because you are just eating a salad. See how that works? Magical.
And yesterday while cleaning out my wallet, I decided to snap a picture of one of my longest standing obsessions: Applebee's. My 4-year love affair with Applebee's Chicken Fajita Roll Up is such a poorly kept secret that I received not one, not two, not three, not four, five or six, but SEVEN Applebee's giftcards from friends and/or clients this Christmas.
So you see, boys and girls, I am a much more complex person than you all originally thought. My obsessions run deeper than just shopping, masturbating and complaining. They also include eating and vanity.
The first being whitening my teeth. Now, I've been a consistent teeth whitener over the years, but I recently purchased this big ass kit that came with toothpaste, mouthwash and white strips. And real quick, if anyone cares, after years of teeth whitening I've found that my favorite method is the generic Target brand whitening strips. Sue me, I love 'em.
But trust me, this toothpaste isn't what you think. It isn't your normal whitening toothpaste. It is like 97% bleach. Same with the mouthwash, I'm pretty sure it is just pure bleach that I'm gurgling around in my mouth. By the time I have completed steps 1 and 2, the inside of my mouth is all puckered and dehydrated and pitiful from the inordinate amounts of bleach. Finally I white strip for 30 minutes while applying my make up. At the end of white stripping, I threw in one more step, which is a quick additional brushing with the 97% bleach toothpaste.
I know that this is probably taking the whole teeth whitening thing a couple of steps too far and that by now, I have no enamel left on my teeth, but I can't stop. I'm obsessed.
My next recent compulsion is Wendy's Southwest Taco Salad. I swear I try to have one every day. Here's the beauty of it: They give you a regular garden salad, a thing of chili, a little baggy of seasoned tortilla strips (read: broken up Doritos) and a tube of sour cream and then you construct the salad yourself. Oh God, I'm getting all worked up just thinking about it. So basically you get a full fast food meal, but you get to keep yourself guilt free because you are just eating a salad. See how that works? Magical.
And yesterday while cleaning out my wallet, I decided to snap a picture of one of my longest standing obsessions: Applebee's. My 4-year love affair with Applebee's Chicken Fajita Roll Up is such a poorly kept secret that I received not one, not two, not three, not four, five or six, but SEVEN Applebee's giftcards from friends and/or clients this Christmas.
So you see, boys and girls, I am a much more complex person than you all originally thought. My obsessions run deeper than just shopping, masturbating and complaining. They also include eating and vanity.
@ 10:23 AM
7 Comments:
Happy birthday, whichever day it falls. 21 and counting.
Can't you just get your teeth bonded and to the degree of whiteness you are satisfied with and so be done with it?
You are hurting your teeth with what you're doing. (Do you want to be wearing false teeth when your 50?) That whitening mouthwash stuff you're talking about is disgusting, I tried it. It's probably overloaded with alcohol, which just dries your mouth out and facilitates bad breath (not that you have it 'cuz how should I know). I use the citrus Listerine, which has some alcohol in it, but that's not relevant. And Colgate or Crest toothpaste is just as good.
Quick: what's the Mexican phone company?
Answer: Taco Bell.
Applebee's? I think I prefer my obsession.
I've been whitening for the past 10 days with this stuff you brush on your teeth before going to bed. It's worked pretty good so far, only 4 days left and my whitening paste isn't going on that easy anymore.
I may have to try your Target whitening strips you rave about. I'm now officially obsessed with having the whitest teeth possible, which is difficult cuz I drink tons of coffee.
Yeah, MCM, but the stuff you're using isn't supposed to go on your teeth ... if you read the package, you'll see ...
Oooh. I'm a teeth whitening addict too!!! Have been wearing those fucking trays. Just got my final "after pic" from my dentist. I should post it...
I have those trays too!
I need to be using them....I haven't done any "maintenance" on my teeth in awhile.....
No, I read the package - it's Crest's Night Effects and it comes with 14 little brushes and a tiny canister of this liquid shit that you brush on nightly and remove in the morning. Works pretty good but not perfect.
HotLipz/Stacey -- did you see what happened to Mr. Sirius's blog? When you go there, you are redirected to a gay porn site. I assume it isn't a subset of visitors -- such as those with Univ. of Md. IP addresses but rather everyone is so redirected. (Is it possible to redirect only select visitors with specific IP addresses? I've no idea.) I guess his domain name was hijacked? I doubt he'd so something that odd himself.
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