Ricky Bobby
Yesterday began my 6 day vacation. At the end of said 6 days, I will return to work for 2 days and then begin a 5 day vacation. At least that's the way it is planned, whether or not it works out that way has yet to be seen.
Meanwhile Stacey is off somewhere having lots of sex with some man who is not her husband. And since unfortunately Snarls is her husband, we shall not condemn her.
I've got a new cleaningperson scheduled to arrive tomorrow. And get this, he's a he. I just hope he cleans as well as he talks dirty.
As such I'm spending my second day of vacation furiously cleaning in preparation for his arrival. We must put our best foot forward after all.
Last night I treated myself to a new winter coat (40% off, bitches), a new suit, and handful of new jeans, sweaters and blouses. Today I think Hot Santa Lips will bring me new shoes. It just feels like a new shoes day to me. I have a couple of last minute Christmas gifts to buy, but I know exactly what they are and where to get them so it is no biggie.
My family will arrive late tomorrow and then the fun begins.
I've arranged for a small, teeny, tiny little meet and greet of the family with some of my more intimate friends on Christmas Eve where there will be finger foods, and depending on the weather, a fire in the outdoor fire pit. I've already warned all the invitees that I will not be myself. There will be no cussing, no dirty stories, no drunkenness. In other words, no fun. But we mustn't give my fragile grandparents a heart attack.
Also in preparation for my grandparents arrival I have been raiding all the local home health supply stores. Those of you who have been paying attention know that my poor little grandpa is an amputee and doesn't get around very well. Which sort of make me a shithead for insisting that he leave his comfortable, well-equipped home to spend the holidays in a non-handicap accessible place. But those of you who have been paying attention also know that it is all about me so that doesn't really matter. But in order to make his stay a little more comfortable I have become the new owner (at least for the next week) of a potty chair, a power scooter and a lift chair. I've even rented a minivan for the week so as to transport the whole family and the power scooter around.
Now, if you don't mind, I've got a linen closet to organize.
Meanwhile Stacey is off somewhere having lots of sex with some man who is not her husband. And since unfortunately Snarls is her husband, we shall not condemn her.
I've got a new cleaningperson scheduled to arrive tomorrow. And get this, he's a he. I just hope he cleans as well as he talks dirty.
As such I'm spending my second day of vacation furiously cleaning in preparation for his arrival. We must put our best foot forward after all.
Last night I treated myself to a new winter coat (40% off, bitches), a new suit, and handful of new jeans, sweaters and blouses. Today I think Hot Santa Lips will bring me new shoes. It just feels like a new shoes day to me. I have a couple of last minute Christmas gifts to buy, but I know exactly what they are and where to get them so it is no biggie.
My family will arrive late tomorrow and then the fun begins.
I've arranged for a small, teeny, tiny little meet and greet of the family with some of my more intimate friends on Christmas Eve where there will be finger foods, and depending on the weather, a fire in the outdoor fire pit. I've already warned all the invitees that I will not be myself. There will be no cussing, no dirty stories, no drunkenness. In other words, no fun. But we mustn't give my fragile grandparents a heart attack.
Also in preparation for my grandparents arrival I have been raiding all the local home health supply stores. Those of you who have been paying attention know that my poor little grandpa is an amputee and doesn't get around very well. Which sort of make me a shithead for insisting that he leave his comfortable, well-equipped home to spend the holidays in a non-handicap accessible place. But those of you who have been paying attention also know that it is all about me so that doesn't really matter. But in order to make his stay a little more comfortable I have become the new owner (at least for the next week) of a potty chair, a power scooter and a lift chair. I've even rented a minivan for the week so as to transport the whole family and the power scooter around.
Now, if you don't mind, I've got a linen closet to organize.
@ 1:26 PM
1 Comments:
Ha! I win!
I re-organized my linen closet Wednesday night!
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