To The Left
This getting dark at 4:15 shit is really throwing me off my game. You here at StaceyLovesMe know how Hot Lips hates change. Or whatever.
I know that some of you may want to shoot me for saying this, but I'm really ready for summer. Fo rizzle. I want to open up that fancy swimmin' hole of mine and give my scary twisty water slide another try. I want to wear nothing but a tankini most days, and I want to get a tan, a really good, deep, golden, malignant melanoma tan. Which reminds me of a summer a couple of years ago, well, probably more like 4, when I lived at the neighborhood pool just about every day. I got so motherfucking tan. I didn't know I could get that dark, but apparently I can. I was also rocking the long black hair then, and I was mistaken for Puerto Rican more than a few times that summer.
So yeah, summer. I'm making this solemn vow to my hotties right now. From now on I will cut back my hours to part time during the summer months. I will not let another summer, my most favorite season, go by in a pissy, stressed-out blur. I promise to spend an equitable amount of pool hours to work hours. I vow to take up drinking margaritas and to throw a pool party to mark each month of summer. I also promise to see the ocean a minimum of three times each and every summer. There is absolutely no excuse to live within a stones throw of the god damn motherfucking ocean and yet never worship at its altar. And finally, I vow to dance. At the grocery store, on the side of the road, in the chair at the dentist's office, wherever the mood may strike me.
Will someone please remind me of this post around mid May? Thank you.
Is there anything more annoying than a new mother? Didn't think so.
So my new jam for the past couple of days has been Beyonce's Irreplaceable.
To the left, to the left
Everything you own in a box to the left
I listened to it over and over again on my way in to work this morning singing my little heart out each time. I dedicated all of my performances to Snarls*. On about my 33rd performance, I had choreographed a little dance sequence to go along with my beautiful vocals whereupon I would point to the where all of Snarls' boxes are over in the left corner.
The chorus:
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter of fact he'll be here in a minute
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable
But my favorite part is when she tells him
Keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
He he he. That crazy Beyonce! She's so sassy!
Love ya'll.
*Snarls is Stacey's (soon to be ex, although he doesn't exactly know it yet) husband.
I know that some of you may want to shoot me for saying this, but I'm really ready for summer. Fo rizzle. I want to open up that fancy swimmin' hole of mine and give my scary twisty water slide another try. I want to wear nothing but a tankini most days, and I want to get a tan, a really good, deep, golden, malignant melanoma tan. Which reminds me of a summer a couple of years ago, well, probably more like 4, when I lived at the neighborhood pool just about every day. I got so motherfucking tan. I didn't know I could get that dark, but apparently I can. I was also rocking the long black hair then, and I was mistaken for Puerto Rican more than a few times that summer.
So yeah, summer. I'm making this solemn vow to my hotties right now. From now on I will cut back my hours to part time during the summer months. I will not let another summer, my most favorite season, go by in a pissy, stressed-out blur. I promise to spend an equitable amount of pool hours to work hours. I vow to take up drinking margaritas and to throw a pool party to mark each month of summer. I also promise to see the ocean a minimum of three times each and every summer. There is absolutely no excuse to live within a stones throw of the god damn motherfucking ocean and yet never worship at its altar. And finally, I vow to dance. At the grocery store, on the side of the road, in the chair at the dentist's office, wherever the mood may strike me.
Will someone please remind me of this post around mid May? Thank you.
Is there anything more annoying than a new mother? Didn't think so.
So my new jam for the past couple of days has been Beyonce's Irreplaceable.
To the left, to the left
Everything you own in a box to the left
I listened to it over and over again on my way in to work this morning singing my little heart out each time. I dedicated all of my performances to Snarls*. On about my 33rd performance, I had choreographed a little dance sequence to go along with my beautiful vocals whereupon I would point to the where all of Snarls' boxes are over in the left corner.
The chorus:
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter of fact he'll be here in a minute
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable
But my favorite part is when she tells him
Keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
He he he. That crazy Beyonce! She's so sassy!
Love ya'll.
*Snarls is Stacey's (soon to be ex, although he doesn't exactly know it yet) husband.
@ 11:06 AM
4 Comments:
Damn, divorce is funny today!
Snarls has been warned, more than once. Unfortch for him, he is a complete retard, and is blaming the "crazy talk" on my
a) hormones
b) drug addiction
What do you mean 'a new mother'? That makes it sound like you're pregnant.
Did you ever seen Mad TV comedian/actress Debbie Wilson's parody of Beyonce when she was in Destiny's Child and the group is supposed to be sending a holiday greeting to the troops in Afghanistan? Hysterical.
Yes, assuming I'm still around and functioning, I will remind you of that. But maybe you should just move to Miami Beach at some point ... you know, while you're still young.
Well, if Stacey is in fact getting divorced, then you and she can get close again, since it seems you two had drifted apart in a way. So some good can come out of it. Unless I'm totally off base here, in which case, I apologize.
Re. sunset, the earliest sunset times are occurring now -- 445PM here in DC, a bit later where you are. We actually gain about 5 minutes of light on the evening side by the winter solstice but the mornings keep getting later until early Jan. with the minimum overall on the solstice.
Also, please see my reply under my current entry. I don't know why it bothers me ... Re. the Taco Bell thing, in brief, the tainted scallions have been traced to the same area as the spinach that had the outbreak ... and in that case, well after the media fact, the tainted spinach was in fact linked to a slaughterhouse and tainted beef upstream. The bacteria flowed down river. This is very likely the case here, too, so it isn't intrinsically scallions themselves.
Oh, I'll remind you. Don't worry!
Great name for Stacey's soon to be ex! *LOL*
I just saw Beyonce on Oprah and didn't realize it until just this moment that I truly LOVE her!
The video, the song, the girl...top notch bitch!!!
To the left, to the left...
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