Two In A Row
Look what I brought out of the closet and dusted off...
S'up fuckers?
Today I somehow (and quite potentially erroneously) calculated that today is my 11,010th day on Earth.
And that seems strange to me. I can't believe I've done this 11,000 times before. You would think I would be better at it by now. Maybe around 15,000 I'll get the hang of it.
The weekend was lovely. I broke out the capris on both days. I took the puppy to the dog park on Saturday and made a lot of enemies by grimacing at all the other, way less attractive dogs there. At 15 pounds, Coco was one of the smallest and by far the pussiest dog there. I wasn't amused when the humongous, poorly-behaved Black Russian Terrier kept terrorizing little Coco. And how was I to know when I disgustedly asked Big Daddy, Whose horrible big, black dog is that? That it would belong to the grumpy, stout lesbian standing right beside me.
Whatever Honey, don't hate me because you can't date me.
Today it is warm and the birds are chirping, but the sun isn't out shining brightly. So it isn't quite a trifecta. But a sneak peek at this week's weather forecast shows that it is supposed to reach 85 degrees on Wednesday. Could that really be? With that on my mind, I just called Harry about opening the pool. He will be here April 15th, Tax Day, to officially open her for the season. I'm scheduled to host ladies' night the following week, so provided we aren't experiencing any April showers, I think it might just be the first ever poolside event.
And finally, I decided to forgo the adopting a disadvantaged black youth idea and instead am concentrating my efforts on finding an attractive 15-year-old girl to adopt so I can spend the next six months planning a Sweet Sixteen Party. As soon as the party is over and the camera crews clear out, I'm going to snatch back the keys to the Beamer and trade her in for a crack baby.
Holla at your girl!
S'up fuckers?
Today I somehow (and quite potentially erroneously) calculated that today is my 11,010th day on Earth.
And that seems strange to me. I can't believe I've done this 11,000 times before. You would think I would be better at it by now. Maybe around 15,000 I'll get the hang of it.
The weekend was lovely. I broke out the capris on both days. I took the puppy to the dog park on Saturday and made a lot of enemies by grimacing at all the other, way less attractive dogs there. At 15 pounds, Coco was one of the smallest and by far the pussiest dog there. I wasn't amused when the humongous, poorly-behaved Black Russian Terrier kept terrorizing little Coco. And how was I to know when I disgustedly asked Big Daddy, Whose horrible big, black dog is that? That it would belong to the grumpy, stout lesbian standing right beside me.
Whatever Honey, don't hate me because you can't date me.
Today it is warm and the birds are chirping, but the sun isn't out shining brightly. So it isn't quite a trifecta. But a sneak peek at this week's weather forecast shows that it is supposed to reach 85 degrees on Wednesday. Could that really be? With that on my mind, I just called Harry about opening the pool. He will be here April 15th, Tax Day, to officially open her for the season. I'm scheduled to host ladies' night the following week, so provided we aren't experiencing any April showers, I think it might just be the first ever poolside event.
And finally, I decided to forgo the adopting a disadvantaged black youth idea and instead am concentrating my efforts on finding an attractive 15-year-old girl to adopt so I can spend the next six months planning a Sweet Sixteen Party. As soon as the party is over and the camera crews clear out, I'm going to snatch back the keys to the Beamer and trade her in for a crack baby.
Holla at your girl!
@ 12:01 PM
2 Comments:
Oh you know you just want to have it all filmed for "My Super Sweet Sixteen".
MTV doesn't film parties for crack babies.
Holla!
I'll dress up in drag and be your Sweet Sixteen-ager.
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