It's Been 8 Days
Is there really any point in updating this blog anymore? I mean, when I only do it like once every nine months it just doesn't seem worth it at that point.
So I'm in the midst of a strange week. I took the week off of work. But this time it is different from any other time I took off of work. I closed the office for the week, too. So instead of being off in the sense that I have no appointments scheduled but I'm on the phone with the office 7 hours a day, I am really, truly am off of work. Spring Break if you will. Along those same lines all the usual suspects are either out of town for the week or stuck at home with their bratty kids, which as far as I'm concerned is just like being out of town. Big Daddy didn't take any time off of work so it is just me. I can't say I've ever been in this position before. I'm torn between coming up with a thousand projects for myself and being productive and just not doing a god damned thing and recharging. So far I've been leaning towards the latter. For the last two days I have done nothing but wake up at 11 and then masturbate for an hour.
On Friday I bought Big Daddy a gift certificate to a new store in town for $500. I had heard about this new place and it seemed right up his alley, so at the last minute I decided to purchase him a gift certificate as an Easter present. Then on Easter I reached into my purse to hand him the white envelope with the gift certificate in it, and what do you know, it wasn't there. I lost it. We were out of town at the time so I didn't panic. But when we got home and I looked everywhere and couldn't find it, I did start to panic a little bit. I mean, this was an old fashioned gift certificate, not a gift card, and I hadn't even filled out the To and From yet so I was starting to realize that I was out $500. I called the store and said I had bought the gc on Friday and had subsequently lost it and was just wondering if anyone had turned it in to them or called about it or anything. And the guy who answered the phone said, "Don't worry about it, we'll get you a new one. It was for $500, right? It had to have been, it was the only one we sold that day. We'll just give you a new one." And I was shocked and delighted and strangely humbled all at once. And I felt like an asshole for ever shopping at the likes of Walmart or Target or any other bullshit big corporate store where if you lost a $500 (or a $5) gift certificate they would tell you, Tough shit, Honey. So there you have it, costumer service is not, in fact, dead, just on the endangered species list.
I'm going back to Atlantic City next month. I hit up Barnes and Noble's last night and bought a stack of books on how to gamble. Is that super dorky or what? But I thought maybe if I just read a book or two I might come home with some money this time. Maybe. Of course the chances of me actually reading the books are incredibly slim.
I don't have anything good to say anymore.
So I'm in the midst of a strange week. I took the week off of work. But this time it is different from any other time I took off of work. I closed the office for the week, too. So instead of being off in the sense that I have no appointments scheduled but I'm on the phone with the office 7 hours a day, I am really, truly am off of work. Spring Break if you will. Along those same lines all the usual suspects are either out of town for the week or stuck at home with their bratty kids, which as far as I'm concerned is just like being out of town. Big Daddy didn't take any time off of work so it is just me. I can't say I've ever been in this position before. I'm torn between coming up with a thousand projects for myself and being productive and just not doing a god damned thing and recharging. So far I've been leaning towards the latter. For the last two days I have done nothing but wake up at 11 and then masturbate for an hour.
On Friday I bought Big Daddy a gift certificate to a new store in town for $500. I had heard about this new place and it seemed right up his alley, so at the last minute I decided to purchase him a gift certificate as an Easter present. Then on Easter I reached into my purse to hand him the white envelope with the gift certificate in it, and what do you know, it wasn't there. I lost it. We were out of town at the time so I didn't panic. But when we got home and I looked everywhere and couldn't find it, I did start to panic a little bit. I mean, this was an old fashioned gift certificate, not a gift card, and I hadn't even filled out the To and From yet so I was starting to realize that I was out $500. I called the store and said I had bought the gc on Friday and had subsequently lost it and was just wondering if anyone had turned it in to them or called about it or anything. And the guy who answered the phone said, "Don't worry about it, we'll get you a new one. It was for $500, right? It had to have been, it was the only one we sold that day. We'll just give you a new one." And I was shocked and delighted and strangely humbled all at once. And I felt like an asshole for ever shopping at the likes of Walmart or Target or any other bullshit big corporate store where if you lost a $500 (or a $5) gift certificate they would tell you, Tough shit, Honey. So there you have it, costumer service is not, in fact, dead, just on the endangered species list.
I'm going back to Atlantic City next month. I hit up Barnes and Noble's last night and bought a stack of books on how to gamble. Is that super dorky or what? But I thought maybe if I just read a book or two I might come home with some money this time. Maybe. Of course the chances of me actually reading the books are incredibly slim.
I don't have anything good to say anymore.
@ 11:30 AM
2 Comments:
Your standards are too high.
I always enjoy reading whatever you post.
It always makes me laugh.
Don't listen to Pissy...you really do suck!
Bwaahhhaha!!!
Belated April Fool's - I really think you're neat.
The only thing I got out of your post was the little thingee about you sleeping in until 11 and then masturbating for an hour. Could you please elaborate a bit on the "masturbating" thing? How do you keep it going for an hour? Are you switching up appliances or relying on old faithful, whatever that is?
Please provide more details or else.
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