I've Got Better Things To Do...Like Crack
S'up fuckers?
I've got a horrible, awful, suicide-inducing work conference tomorrow. Some continuing education bullshit that lasts for 12 MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN HOURS. Do you have any idea how torturous that is to someone with ADD? It is way horrible. I'd rather have electrodes strapped to my balls. Poor, poor me. In addition, it means that even though it is Saturday, I have to get up at 6 o'motheruckingclock in the morning. FOR THE THIRD MORNING IN A ROW! Also, the dress code is business casual, which Hot Lips doesn't do. I've got your business and I've got your casual, but never do the two meet. So I just got home from the mall where I purchased a new outfit just for the occasion. I'm pretty sure I still didn't pull off business casual, though. My outfit involves dress pants, heels and lots of matching jewelry, so call it whatever you like. But my God, business casual? Isn't that like khaki pants? Egad.
So remember Tim and Shelby? How's that for a blast from the past? Well, apparently Tim just got arrested for embezzling $64,000 from his company ... to buy crack. Sweet Jesus. As Big Daddy was telling me this story I said, Well, if my wife fucked my best friend right in front of me, I'd probably turn to crack, too.
I hate to cut this short, but since I have to get up with the roosters, I better go tuck myself in. I hope everyone enjoys their Saturday while I'm busy slitting my wrists in some auditorium somewhere.
I've got a horrible, awful, suicide-inducing work conference tomorrow. Some continuing education bullshit that lasts for 12 MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN HOURS. Do you have any idea how torturous that is to someone with ADD? It is way horrible. I'd rather have electrodes strapped to my balls. Poor, poor me. In addition, it means that even though it is Saturday, I have to get up at 6 o'motheruckingclock in the morning. FOR THE THIRD MORNING IN A ROW! Also, the dress code is business casual, which Hot Lips doesn't do. I've got your business and I've got your casual, but never do the two meet. So I just got home from the mall where I purchased a new outfit just for the occasion. I'm pretty sure I still didn't pull off business casual, though. My outfit involves dress pants, heels and lots of matching jewelry, so call it whatever you like. But my God, business casual? Isn't that like khaki pants? Egad.
So remember Tim and Shelby? How's that for a blast from the past? Well, apparently Tim just got arrested for embezzling $64,000 from his company ... to buy crack. Sweet Jesus. As Big Daddy was telling me this story I said, Well, if my wife fucked my best friend right in front of me, I'd probably turn to crack, too.
I hate to cut this short, but since I have to get up with the roosters, I better go tuck myself in. I hope everyone enjoys their Saturday while I'm busy slitting my wrists in some auditorium somewhere.
@ 8:57 PM
9 Comments:
How about a two fer?
That's so odd - I barely remember reading your Tim & Shelby post and only vaguely remember leaving this comment:
lostdog said...
Kudos on this juicy post!
For mental notation purposes only, can you release any more details on Shelby? From what I've gathered she's fairly non-descript, your average lonely, easy to fall in love and suck two dicks then get fucked by husband's friend kinda woman.
Got anything else? How is her ass? Are you attracted to her at all? Fess up!
Yikes.
I was thinking back to the old days when Monk was lostdog....
*sigh*
Ha! Funny you remember those days, Pissy.
We do go way back, don't we?
Oh, Mr. Monk, don't even start with the "we go way back."
Don't you, either, Miss Hot Lips. (I hope you survived your seminar.)
$ 64,000 worth of crack is a lot of crack.
I need to start a secret blog.
I was at a party last night, and I may have fallen in love. This is weird.
Hot Lips- I will take that Two Fer.
Yes - a secret blog is definitely in order. Congrats on finding some sweet poon tang to feast upon.
Joe could never do a secret blog, he's too much of a hit whore. Although if he does, I'll be totally offended if he doesn't email me the link.
If I wasn't so damn lazy, I'd give ya'll more links to the past. I'll work on it.
Monk: I think so!
Not as far back as you, Joe and Hotlipz....but still.... ;-)
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