Don't Hate

S'up fuckers?

I have some good news for my hotties.

First, I'm happy to announce that my new hire is now my new fire.

Can I get a hallelujah!

Second, the horrible, life altering, panic attack inducing work project I have been working on for the past three weeks is out of my life forever. Or at least until someone calls to complain what a shitty job I did on it. So until then, cheers!

Third, I can fit my fat ass back into my favorite Seven (tm) jeans from last season. In celebration of this, I decided to not only wear them last night, but today as well. Those lucky jeans.

Fourth, I've been blatantly hit on three times in the last 24 hours or less. (see above) The first time was last night by TD. Now, I know you are all thinking that given our history, that TD doesn't count. But I would have to disagree. Granted, there is usually sexual tension in the air when TD and I get around each other and quite a bit of flirting. However the flirting is always very veiled, just glances that linger a little longer than they should, a lot more laughing and attention being given to each other than might otherwise happen, say, if either one of us was ugly. But we aren't exactly throwing around a multitude of sexual innuendos or being too obvious about our sexual desire with one another. Mainly because if Big Daddy ever caught wind of this he would take out hits on both of us. So we are careful. And really, recently, I've been over my whole TD thing and it has cooled off quite a bit. But then last night at a board meeting for the Hot Lips Hurricanes he couldn't seem to contain himself. He was fairly controlled for the first part of the evening, but by the last hour after everyone else had left, including his current girlfriend, he was being rather open with his desire to take me to bed. Or to marry me. I think he'd be happy with either one. At the end of the night he told me that if anything happened to Big Daddy he wanted to be my man. Not if anything happened between me and Big Daddy, but if anything happened to Big Daddy. Because he knows that Big Daddy would have to be dead and buried before he anything like that would be safe. There were several other comments as well that made it very clear that had I been in the mood, that TD would have run off to Vegas with me for a quickie wedding. Or at least a passionate fuck at the Super 8.

The second guy was a big black guy at this same restaurant. And I guess he really only half counts because big black guys will hit on anything.

The third was today at the doctor's office. Yes! The doctor's office. I got a call from a friend that she needed a ride home from the doctor's office. So I went waited for her in the lobby. It was just me and this other guy sitting in the lobby. He said he was waiting to give his cousin a ride home. (it was the orthopedic doctor, they were both getting casts and couldn't drive) Anyway, we were the only two people in the waiting room and it seemed like the thing to do so I struck up a conversation. I'm a friendly person, what can I say. At one point he got a call on his cell and he stepped outside. Not long, after my friend came hobbling out, and as we were leaving we passed him standing by the door talking on his cell phone. When he saw me he said, Hey, hang on a second. So I paused. He took out his wallet and started digging around. The next thing I know he's handing me a business card and saying, "Call me sometime." My response? "What will we talk about?" Feel free to use that smooth line. But honestly, at this point I'm not 100% he's not handing me his business card to try to sell me something. So then he tells me, "So we can just talk, hang out. You seem like a nice person. I'd like to go out with you some time." I looked at his card, asked him about his job, talked about a couple of people that we knew in common in the same field. And then I very politely and casually excused myself to drive my friend home. So I'll take his card and throw it in my stack where I throw all the business cards that I collect in this manner, and similar to the 400 lb limo driver, I'll pull it out when I need something and say all cutesy, "Hey, Frank, this is Hot Lips from the doctor's office. How have you been? I was wondering if you could help me with my (fill in the blank)" And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why it is beneficial to have nice tits.

And in celebration of my fruitful day, I give you puppies lounging by a freshly painted white picket fence.