Life Coach
Good morning, my lovelies. A happy Saturday to you all.
So about three weeks ago I went on a little mission for a new purse. I ended up at the Coach store and really didn't find anything that set my heart on fire. I found a few things that I liked okay, but nothing that made me hot and bothered. I went to Louis Viutton next, then Saks, then a couple of other places. I didn't find anything that made me swoon. But I had left the house during a tropical storm in search of a new black purse, and by God, I was going to come home with one. So I ended up back at the Coach store - wait, let me give you a little background. It was a Friday and I was supposed to be leaving town that day to visit my grandparents but due to the tropical storm sweeping through town, I canceled my trip. So I had the day off of work and had been trapped in the house most of the day. One would think that this would give me plenty of time to take a shower, put on make up, put on a matching outfit, but ultimately none of that was done. So I'm out shopping at Coach and Louis Vuitton looking like a bag lady. None of the snobby salespeople wanted to help me. Okay, so anyway, after not finding anything anywhere else, I decided to go back to the Coach store to get one of the purses that I liked but didn't love. The two saleswomen were a little more helpful the second time around. I guess since I came back they thought I might actually buy something and hell, it was tropical storming outside and nobody else was coming into their stupid store.
As I walk back into the store I grab a purse off of display and tell them that I want it. What I didn't know at the time was that there were three of the same exact purses only different sizes, small, medium and large. I grabbed the large purse, but had originally been looking at the medium purse. At some point this comes up and I realize that I'm not looking at the same purse. So then I am trying to decide which one to get, the medium or large. I like the large because it has an extra zipper compartment that the medium doesn't have. At the same time, I'm afraid that the large is just too big. I waffle back and forth, all the while the saleswomen are trying to talk me into the large purse because it is $200 more than the medium purse. I finally get sick of thinking about it and say fuck it, I'll take the large purse.
I'm embarrassed to admit it, I really am, so I probably shouldn't, but I will anyway, but half of my reasoning for saying fuck it I'll take the large purse was because the saleswomen were putting major pressure on me to get the large purse and I didn't want them to think I wasn't getting it because it was so much more expensive and I was trying to save money by getting the smaller one. I'm an asshole, right? I don't normally fall victim to this school of thought, but for some reason that day, wearing sweats and a greasy ponytail and feeling generally like a scuzzbucket, I felt it a necessary show of financial capability.
Don't worry, I'm appropriately ashamed of myself.
So after all that, and just dying if I didn't come home with a new purse that day, I ended up just leaving the damn thing in the bag untouched for the next three weeks. But the bag was so nice, and they wrapped up the wallet in this pretty paper embossed all over with little C's and topped off with a gold sticker. You know I am a sucker for pretty, tidy things. And everything just looked so right in that bag with the fancy paper, so I just left it. And eventually kind of forgot about it. But yesterday I decided I better go ahead and break it out because I was sick of that huge bag sitting in the floor taking up space. So I did the complete wallet and purse switchover yesterday.
I had a lot of shopping to do and just general errands to run and I was excited to finally let the world meet my new purse. Only I hate it. It is way too big. Like the biggest fucking monstrosity ever. All my stuff takes up about 1/10th of the space. I could go away for the weekend in this thing. Why is it so big? And why did I have to buy it? I'm such a schmuck.
Don't worry, I've learned my lesson.
I hope.
So, on to better things...
I'm hosting my first party of the fall tonight. It is a birthday party for a dear friend. It isn't at my house, though. I didn't fell like dealing with it, but had already agreed to host, so I have planned a lovely evening of activities outside of the house. First we will have dinner and then out for some fun on the town. Because I'm a classy gal (just ask the women at the Coach store) I have booked a limo for the evening. Remember the 400 lbs black man that gave me the ride home from the strip club back in May and thought I lived with my parents? Well, I kept his card, because that's the sort of thing that I do, and I've called him a couple of times this past week, flirting the whole time, and have arranged for him to drive us around, for what I'm hoping will be a substantial discount. The limo is a surprise. I haven't told anyone about that part of the plan yet. I love to pull off surprises.
So that's that. I hope you all have a good weekend and hopefully I'll come home tomorrow with some good stories.
So about three weeks ago I went on a little mission for a new purse. I ended up at the Coach store and really didn't find anything that set my heart on fire. I found a few things that I liked okay, but nothing that made me hot and bothered. I went to Louis Viutton next, then Saks, then a couple of other places. I didn't find anything that made me swoon. But I had left the house during a tropical storm in search of a new black purse, and by God, I was going to come home with one. So I ended up back at the Coach store - wait, let me give you a little background. It was a Friday and I was supposed to be leaving town that day to visit my grandparents but due to the tropical storm sweeping through town, I canceled my trip. So I had the day off of work and had been trapped in the house most of the day. One would think that this would give me plenty of time to take a shower, put on make up, put on a matching outfit, but ultimately none of that was done. So I'm out shopping at Coach and Louis Vuitton looking like a bag lady. None of the snobby salespeople wanted to help me. Okay, so anyway, after not finding anything anywhere else, I decided to go back to the Coach store to get one of the purses that I liked but didn't love. The two saleswomen were a little more helpful the second time around. I guess since I came back they thought I might actually buy something and hell, it was tropical storming outside and nobody else was coming into their stupid store.
As I walk back into the store I grab a purse off of display and tell them that I want it. What I didn't know at the time was that there were three of the same exact purses only different sizes, small, medium and large. I grabbed the large purse, but had originally been looking at the medium purse. At some point this comes up and I realize that I'm not looking at the same purse. So then I am trying to decide which one to get, the medium or large. I like the large because it has an extra zipper compartment that the medium doesn't have. At the same time, I'm afraid that the large is just too big. I waffle back and forth, all the while the saleswomen are trying to talk me into the large purse because it is $200 more than the medium purse. I finally get sick of thinking about it and say fuck it, I'll take the large purse.
I'm embarrassed to admit it, I really am, so I probably shouldn't, but I will anyway, but half of my reasoning for saying fuck it I'll take the large purse was because the saleswomen were putting major pressure on me to get the large purse and I didn't want them to think I wasn't getting it because it was so much more expensive and I was trying to save money by getting the smaller one. I'm an asshole, right? I don't normally fall victim to this school of thought, but for some reason that day, wearing sweats and a greasy ponytail and feeling generally like a scuzzbucket, I felt it a necessary show of financial capability.
Don't worry, I'm appropriately ashamed of myself.
So after all that, and just dying if I didn't come home with a new purse that day, I ended up just leaving the damn thing in the bag untouched for the next three weeks. But the bag was so nice, and they wrapped up the wallet in this pretty paper embossed all over with little C's and topped off with a gold sticker. You know I am a sucker for pretty, tidy things. And everything just looked so right in that bag with the fancy paper, so I just left it. And eventually kind of forgot about it. But yesterday I decided I better go ahead and break it out because I was sick of that huge bag sitting in the floor taking up space. So I did the complete wallet and purse switchover yesterday.
I had a lot of shopping to do and just general errands to run and I was excited to finally let the world meet my new purse. Only I hate it. It is way too big. Like the biggest fucking monstrosity ever. All my stuff takes up about 1/10th of the space. I could go away for the weekend in this thing. Why is it so big? And why did I have to buy it? I'm such a schmuck.
Don't worry, I've learned my lesson.
I hope.
So, on to better things...
I'm hosting my first party of the fall tonight. It is a birthday party for a dear friend. It isn't at my house, though. I didn't fell like dealing with it, but had already agreed to host, so I have planned a lovely evening of activities outside of the house. First we will have dinner and then out for some fun on the town. Because I'm a classy gal (just ask the women at the Coach store) I have booked a limo for the evening. Remember the 400 lbs black man that gave me the ride home from the strip club back in May and thought I lived with my parents? Well, I kept his card, because that's the sort of thing that I do, and I've called him a couple of times this past week, flirting the whole time, and have arranged for him to drive us around, for what I'm hoping will be a substantial discount. The limo is a surprise. I haven't told anyone about that part of the plan yet. I love to pull off surprises.
So that's that. I hope you all have a good weekend and hopefully I'll come home tomorrow with some good stories.
@ 9:15 AM
3 Comments:
If you don't have any good stories to tell don't bother coming back here.
Okaaaay?
Well, you'll surely get a lot more use out of it and for a longer time than, say, $500 diesel jeans.
For instance, you can carry both KiKi and Coco around in that bag.
I wonder if purses when referred to as bags are why women are sometimes referred to as bags?
You are not a bag, HotLipz.
Ernesto wasn't all that bad, although you got more rain south of D.C. in your neck of the woods.
Can I come to your party? I mean, if a 400lb black guy is driving the limo, surely there is a wee space somewhere in that car for me.
Today is the first day of fall ... 4:03UTC Sept. 23rd ... meaning at 11:03 EST Sept. 22nd, the midpoint of the solar disk stood directly over the Equator at a local noon spot that was somewhere 8 hours ahead of Greenwich, England ... I figure probably somewhere over the Indian Ocean.
You can balance eggs any day of the year on the ground.
And what's more, the actual "equal day - equal night" occurs a few days after the fact due to atmospheric refraction upward of the Solar disk and the fact that disk is not a point.
So there.
P.S. Sorry, Nowhere Girl, if this comment was too long. HotLipz likes my long comments ... I think.
I can only imagine how much that bag cost. "A" bought a Coach for Little Pissy....for "job interviews"....it's a small one...and it cost $200.00. "A" also bought Little Pissy the matching wallet, but she took it back b/c she doesn't like for him to spend that much money on her.
She doesn't take after me in that respect.
Hope you have enormous amounts of fun tonight.
Take plenty of pictures and stay sober enough to remember the stories for us.
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