Shameful Confessions
1) I kind of like Britney's new single. I mean, I realize it doesn't exactly have a catchy chorus or deep, thought-provoking lyrics, but I like her voice in it. (That might be the weirdest thing I've ever said.)
So why do you desert me, baby boy?
Nothing says next big hit like a fake cell phone conversation in the bridge.
2) My OCD has recently reached new heights all thanks to a little something called the Swiffer Duster. I can now add frenzied, obsessive dusting to my long list of irrational compulsions.
3) I have very vivid fantasies of inviting Michael Vick over and hanging, drowning and electrocuting the incessantly barking neighbor's dog. This morning when it started up at 7:00 a.m. and woke me up after only 2 hours of sleep (see confession #5), I swear to God if I had a gun I would have shot it right between the eyes. And look, I love my dog more than I love pretty much anyone else on earth (I guess that should be confession #4), but I think I could kill those dogs with my bare hands and a satisfied grin on my face. I think I'm going to have to start being one of those neighbors.
5) I am completely, totally, thoroughly obsessed with Big Brother 8. The other day I even said to Big Daddy, "My life has no purpose on the nights that Big Brother isn't on. There is just this void there that can't be filled." I have started staying up every night to watch the live feed on Showtime from midnight to 3 a.m. (This is probably the most pathetic of all of the confessions, and that's saying a lot considering #1).
6) I have owned a pair of Sketchers within the last five years.
I hold my head in shame.
So why do you desert me, baby boy?
Nothing says next big hit like a fake cell phone conversation in the bridge.
2) My OCD has recently reached new heights all thanks to a little something called the Swiffer Duster. I can now add frenzied, obsessive dusting to my long list of irrational compulsions.
3) I have very vivid fantasies of inviting Michael Vick over and hanging, drowning and electrocuting the incessantly barking neighbor's dog. This morning when it started up at 7:00 a.m. and woke me up after only 2 hours of sleep (see confession #5), I swear to God if I had a gun I would have shot it right between the eyes. And look, I love my dog more than I love pretty much anyone else on earth (I guess that should be confession #4), but I think I could kill those dogs with my bare hands and a satisfied grin on my face. I think I'm going to have to start being one of those neighbors.
5) I am completely, totally, thoroughly obsessed with Big Brother 8. The other day I even said to Big Daddy, "My life has no purpose on the nights that Big Brother isn't on. There is just this void there that can't be filled." I have started staying up every night to watch the live feed on Showtime from midnight to 3 a.m. (This is probably the most pathetic of all of the confessions, and that's saying a lot considering #1).
6) I have owned a pair of Sketchers within the last five years.
I hold my head in shame.
@ 12:22 PM
3 Comments:
I am speechless.
It's just like you to have a blog entry frenzy after, like, a 6 month hiatus right when I'm on vacation and thus not check in ...
P.S. I stopped reading this entry as soon as I read "I kind of like Britney's new single ..."
Just kidding.
Tell us more about the Swiffer Duster's abilities.
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