Fabio and Harry, Both Missing
I had another night full of long intricate dreams. No Fabio this time, though. The dreams consisted of anything from losing one of my gorgeous front teeth, to working at a kiosk in the mall selling knock off designer purses. But the final dream of the night was my favorite. In said dream I bought a house directly across the street from Pissy. Yep, I got me a vacation home in Enterprise, Alabama, the Boll Weevil capital of the world. Holla!
I'm overjoyed to announce that the opening of the pool didn't go so well. Lurking under the spring loaded pool cover were a few pool problems. And of course dealing with crazy Harry is just as impossible as ever. I can't be convinced that that man doesn't have schizophrenia. And I am sure by the time I get done dealing with him I'll either be incarcerated or committed. At one point yesterday I decided that money was no object and I would just call another pool company to come and fix my problems so I would never have to deal with Harry again. Until I started calling the other pool companies and found out that not only could they not get to me until late next month, but they want to charge me $1,500. And see, when I said money was no object, what I really meant was, I'll spend upwards of $500 to fix my problem, not well over a grand to fix something that's under warranty and I shouldn't be paying for anyway. I am, however, on my way to the pool store to pick up a new chlorinator to the tune of $150 even though mine is supposedly under warranty for the next 4 years and 3 months. But I refuse to sit around and wait for Harry's sorry, crazy ass. Time is money, people, and Hot Lips likes to float. Fortunately the $1,500 problem doesn't render the pool unusable, so I'll still be frolicking in the pool while I arm wrestle with Harry about fixing the damn thing all summer.
A show of hands, please. Who else is just totally creeped out by Dr. Robert Rey when they watch Dr. 90210? There is just something not quite right about that man. And his poor, poor wife. Oy vey.
And because I'm a giver, I am gifting you with a photo of my lawn. I know it isn't exactly on the same level as Bok Choy Scissorhands next door, but of all the white people on the street, I've got the best lawn. Not bad for someone who employs two different landscaping companies, eh?
If you look closely you will see the line where Bok Choy Scissorhands' lush emerald green carpet of superhuman Asian grass starts and were my well-manicured normal person lawn ends.
I'm overjoyed to announce that the opening of the pool didn't go so well. Lurking under the spring loaded pool cover were a few pool problems. And of course dealing with crazy Harry is just as impossible as ever. I can't be convinced that that man doesn't have schizophrenia. And I am sure by the time I get done dealing with him I'll either be incarcerated or committed. At one point yesterday I decided that money was no object and I would just call another pool company to come and fix my problems so I would never have to deal with Harry again. Until I started calling the other pool companies and found out that not only could they not get to me until late next month, but they want to charge me $1,500. And see, when I said money was no object, what I really meant was, I'll spend upwards of $500 to fix my problem, not well over a grand to fix something that's under warranty and I shouldn't be paying for anyway. I am, however, on my way to the pool store to pick up a new chlorinator to the tune of $150 even though mine is supposedly under warranty for the next 4 years and 3 months. But I refuse to sit around and wait for Harry's sorry, crazy ass. Time is money, people, and Hot Lips likes to float. Fortunately the $1,500 problem doesn't render the pool unusable, so I'll still be frolicking in the pool while I arm wrestle with Harry about fixing the damn thing all summer.
A show of hands, please. Who else is just totally creeped out by Dr. Robert Rey when they watch Dr. 90210? There is just something not quite right about that man. And his poor, poor wife. Oy vey.
And because I'm a giver, I am gifting you with a photo of my lawn. I know it isn't exactly on the same level as Bok Choy Scissorhands next door, but of all the white people on the street, I've got the best lawn. Not bad for someone who employs two different landscaping companies, eh?
If you look closely you will see the line where Bok Choy Scissorhands' lush emerald green carpet of superhuman Asian grass starts and were my well-manicured normal person lawn ends.
@ 9:00 AM
5 Comments:
I have major lawn envy right now...no, not yours - Bok Choy's. That dude knows how to grow some major greenery.
Yeah, yours blows mine away for sure. I have the smallest patch of grass in my front yard and it's nasty, year after year. No matter what I do it just sucks. One of these years I'm gonna just lay down fresh new sod...one of these years.
Bok Choy?
Motor City Monk has a small patch of what?
HotLipz, does Stacey exist anymore?? Just wonderin' what happened to her.
What exactly is the problem with the pool? And will I be gettin' that 4th O' July invite??
You would LOVE the house across the street from me. It's HUGE....two story with a veranda upstairs on the front and big decks and balconies on back overlooking the pool....semi-circular driveway...the works.
there is even a fountain in front.
the people who live next door wanted to buy it and turn it into a Bed and Breakfast....so that gives you an idea of the size of it.
So when can I expect you.
p.s. "Fear no weevil"
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How in the hell does you pool have a PROBLEM already?1 You just built it LAST YEAR?!?! That's fucked up!
Our, typically gorgeous yard, is just freezer burnt from that untimely frost. ALl of my flowering plants died. My bushes are dying. AND no decent plants for sale are to be found as most of the midwest crops dies also... so I TOO have lawn envy =P.Fabu, HL... fabu!
The fact that you can OPEN a pool in April is just, well, impressive. Here it's after Memorial Day and you STILL can't really swim until mid-June.
Hope you get your "float on" soon, bitch! =)
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