New Bag of Tricks
I'll give you one guess who had one too many Spunky Monkeys at dinner tonight.
Some crazy Mexican named Ernesto showed up today and ultimately convinced me to cancel my trip. 75% of the trip cancellation decision was based on the thousands of hours of work I need to do. But since I already wore out that excuse for not visiting, I decided to take advantage of the natural disaster wreaking havoc on my fair town. And damn that karma, not five minutes after informing my grandmother that I wouldn't make it, my electricity went out for the next 6 hours.
There was only one thing to do then. Go in search of lights and entertainment. Which is harder than it sounds because everyone else was hiding out in their own homes and not out and about set to entertain me. I ended up at the mall where I dropped a Knabian on a new purse and wallet.
For a change of scenery I went to the snooty mall, which is totally hilarious considering it is an outdoor mall and well, the city was flooding. But they have the best purses, so what are ya gonna do? I was a real vision, too. Jeans, flip flops, old t shirt from Target, rain jacket, hair in a pony tail, no make up, chomping on gum. Needless to say, the old bitties and gay men at Saks were falling all over themselves to help me.
Whenever I go into a store like that and the snooty ass salespeople act like snooty ass salespeople I really want to remind them that no matter how expensive of a store they work for, they are still getting paid $7 an hour to wait on people. Let's not ever forget that. It was all it took not to blurt out to the impeccably coifed homosexual that was behind the locked glass case at Louis Vuitton who looked me up and down when I walked in and then never saw fit to even greet me or try to assist me in any way, Um, get your head out of your ass, homie, you're the one working at the mall, not me.
Now, had I been about 20 years older, wearing lime green capri pants with little palm trees embroidered all over them, a pink cable knit sweater tied around my shoulders, with my lips pursed like I've been eating lemons all day and a sour puss look on my overly-tanned face, I'm sure I would have been helped right away.
But, alas, I'm not. I'm just Hot Lips and I don't get any respect
Some crazy Mexican named Ernesto showed up today and ultimately convinced me to cancel my trip. 75% of the trip cancellation decision was based on the thousands of hours of work I need to do. But since I already wore out that excuse for not visiting, I decided to take advantage of the natural disaster wreaking havoc on my fair town. And damn that karma, not five minutes after informing my grandmother that I wouldn't make it, my electricity went out for the next 6 hours.
There was only one thing to do then. Go in search of lights and entertainment. Which is harder than it sounds because everyone else was hiding out in their own homes and not out and about set to entertain me. I ended up at the mall where I dropped a Knabian on a new purse and wallet.
For a change of scenery I went to the snooty mall, which is totally hilarious considering it is an outdoor mall and well, the city was flooding. But they have the best purses, so what are ya gonna do? I was a real vision, too. Jeans, flip flops, old t shirt from Target, rain jacket, hair in a pony tail, no make up, chomping on gum. Needless to say, the old bitties and gay men at Saks were falling all over themselves to help me.
Whenever I go into a store like that and the snooty ass salespeople act like snooty ass salespeople I really want to remind them that no matter how expensive of a store they work for, they are still getting paid $7 an hour to wait on people. Let's not ever forget that. It was all it took not to blurt out to the impeccably coifed homosexual that was behind the locked glass case at Louis Vuitton who looked me up and down when I walked in and then never saw fit to even greet me or try to assist me in any way, Um, get your head out of your ass, homie, you're the one working at the mall, not me.
Now, had I been about 20 years older, wearing lime green capri pants with little palm trees embroidered all over them, a pink cable knit sweater tied around my shoulders, with my lips pursed like I've been eating lemons all day and a sour puss look on my overly-tanned face, I'm sure I would have been helped right away.
But, alas, I'm not. I'm just Hot Lips and I don't get any respect
@ 8:25 PM
7 Comments:
their
I meant their stores....not there stores...
Carry on.....
What's in a Spunky Monkey?
Vanilla Stoli, bananas, strawberries.
why are you ignoring my comments?
Are you trying to give me a complex or something?
Did somebody say something?
Nope.
It's those voices in your head again....
Love.
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