Tangent

Overall the party was a success and everyone had a good time. Although the ladies had much better entertainment this year, I couldn't help but to think that I actually had more fun at last year's depraved ho fest. And then I remember that's because I was high as a kite at last year's party and this year I didn't have that luxury. And it just reaffirms my belief that I need to become a pothead. But like most things in my life, my job is a total cockblocker.

Speaking of my job, I'm totally over it. I'm so sick of thinking. And I'm so sick of responsibility. And I'm so sick of thinking about responsibility. I want a no brainer. I just want a job where I get paid to look cute and hang out all day. And maybe get laid from time to time. And to laugh a lot. And maybe to do thrice weekly shopping at the mall. And look cute. But maybe every Friday and Monday to sleep in until 10 a.m. and stay in my pajamas until approximately 2 p.m. And also, I need to get paid to travel around and see cool shit while looking cute. And I want to get paid for buying lotto tickets. And I want to get paid for making fun of ugly people. And I want to get paid for riding dolphins. In my pajamas. But looking cute. And I want to get paid for talking dirty and masturbating. Constantly. I want to get paid for riding roller coasters and spitting on the people down below. I want to get paid while I'm reaching orgasm in the pedicure chair while Phil sucks my toes. I just want Phil to suck my toes, that can be for free. And I want to get paid for eating at Applebee's. And I want to get paid for being a sarcastic bitch.

You get the idea.

But mostly, I just don't want to get paid for being responsible for your problems. And your inability to keep your life together. And to get along with others.

But seriously, don't get me started.

/rant.

Now, let's all think happy thoughts, shall we?

Like unicorns galloping through a field of daisies and with fairies and pixies and leprechauns.

I still love ya'll, for what it's worth.