Party Crasher
Because Big Daddy is a Big Dummy, this is the shitty picture of my hair you get. It was looking all shiny and hot, but the lazy fucker refused to move from his perch on the other side of the house to play fashion photographer to my locks. Of course I guess I should be happy it never occurred to him ask, Um, why exactly am I taking a picture of your hair, just your hair?
Whatevs.
Guilty music confessions: JoJo Too Little Too Late and Justin Timberlake My Love. Try not to hate.
I had a full dance card this weekend and was invited to no less than 4 parties. Three of which I wanted to go to, one not so much. So of course I am happy to report that the only one I actually attended was the one I didn't want to go to.
Are you sitting down?
It was a baby's birthday. A very nice friend of mine's beloved, late-in-life baby's first birthday and of course I felt obligated to go and spread the Hot Lips cheer. Of course the birthday party was the first time I ever laid eyes on the kid and I still managed to spend more on the kid than every other party guest combined, including her parents. And of course my packages looked like they had been wrapped by God himself. The moral of this story? Everything, right down to the tiniest detail, is a competition and Hot Lips must always win at all costs.
My outfit for the baby birthday bash way out in the country where everyone was watching the football game and eating chips? Well, a lovely pair of tan dress pants with black pinstripes, a big flowy black cashmere sweater, my big black '80s clog heels pictured a couple of posts down, lots of matching jewelry including but not limited to a gold ring with a huge brown stone in it that is literally 3.5 inches long, smokey eyes, hot rollered hair and a $700 purse.
What? I was bored.
Another embarrassing confession: I'm contemplating the purchase of a pair of Uggs. I know I'm like 4 years too late, but I'm just about convinced that I need the soft sheepskin on my bare feet all winter.
Oh, nevermind, Blogger won't even let me post my hair. I'll try again later.
Fuckers.
Whatevs.
Guilty music confessions: JoJo Too Little Too Late and Justin Timberlake My Love. Try not to hate.
I had a full dance card this weekend and was invited to no less than 4 parties. Three of which I wanted to go to, one not so much. So of course I am happy to report that the only one I actually attended was the one I didn't want to go to.
Are you sitting down?
It was a baby's birthday. A very nice friend of mine's beloved, late-in-life baby's first birthday and of course I felt obligated to go and spread the Hot Lips cheer. Of course the birthday party was the first time I ever laid eyes on the kid and I still managed to spend more on the kid than every other party guest combined, including her parents. And of course my packages looked like they had been wrapped by God himself. The moral of this story? Everything, right down to the tiniest detail, is a competition and Hot Lips must always win at all costs.
My outfit for the baby birthday bash way out in the country where everyone was watching the football game and eating chips? Well, a lovely pair of tan dress pants with black pinstripes, a big flowy black cashmere sweater, my big black '80s clog heels pictured a couple of posts down, lots of matching jewelry including but not limited to a gold ring with a huge brown stone in it that is literally 3.5 inches long, smokey eyes, hot rollered hair and a $700 purse.
What? I was bored.
Another embarrassing confession: I'm contemplating the purchase of a pair of Uggs. I know I'm like 4 years too late, but I'm just about convinced that I need the soft sheepskin on my bare feet all winter.
Oh, nevermind, Blogger won't even let me post my hair. I'll try again later.
Fuckers.
@ 7:14 PM
3 Comments:
I could so see you in that outfit.
(blogger is being a total bitch about posting pictures lately....)
i think the big black balls have a wart on them, did you notice?
364 trick-or-treaters last night, totally insane. i think the entire town comes to our neighborhood thinking they will get better treats- which Im sure they did, my kids came home with full size candy bars- i guess fun size are totally last year- there were several times when there were literally 20-30 trick or treaters and their parents standing around our door- so you know thats like 45 or so people standing there trampling down my decorations
by the end of the night i was giving away party favors and other leftover holiday items there were bottles of bubbles, easter pencils, magic 8 balls, and birthday party noise makers (which I felt really shitty about giving away but all of the kids were totally excited, weird)- oh and those little maze games with a little silver ball
so obviously my mom was here last night- you didnt think I was counting trick or treaters did you? so she would get so pissed when older kids came knocking- she would ask them how old they were and then give them like 1 hershey kiss
also apparently fog machines are super scary, when kids were coming up the walk we would blast a little fog juice, i cant tell you how many kids high-tailed back down the walk
Fog machines are all the rage. I'm going on my 3rd fucking year with the same sweet ass machine. Fog juice too, that stuff lasts forever. Maybe the 5 gallon jug was a bit over the top.
Thanks Stace for making me go look at those balls again (thought we were all over that) - I don't see no warts, maybe just some loose skin hanging down. I'm no cock expert but that is one ugly monster of a cock.
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